read if you dare (seriously)

this is a serious warning...

you may not want to read this whole thing.

it is probably not something people want to know..

but i dont care.

i have to let it out.

last night i experienced something i hoped i would never go through...

but it happened.

michio and i were watching tv.

he is known for having some stinky farts.
(this is the point where you decide if you want to continue reading or not)

he somehow has an inclination and can feel if it is going to be worse while it is bubbling up in there, and he will either put the blanket over my face, or tell me to do it.

so he lets one off and it is just like all the others... no big deal (still super stinky tho).

about 5 minutes later he lets another one go.

milliseconds later all i hear is "oh my gosh"

...

before he could finish i instantly feel my eyeballs grow in pure shock, and my body instinctually immediately shoots up.

then i feel myself starting to make that gagging face... you know the one where your mouth is open and your tongue starts creeping out of your mouth? thats the one.

remember when you were younger and poured salt on snails and they start bubbling???

well thats what i thought was going to happen to my tongue as it reached the toxic air...

i continued to dart towards the hallway for relief and to regain consciousness.

as i am laying there in recovery, all i hear is laughter and pure enjoyment of my suffering coming from the other room.

after about 3 minutes of laying in the hallway, the culprit had already let another one go.

i let it settle for about 2 minutes....

then i made my move.

"michiooo...... will you bring me some pillows and a blanket please?"

 he does as i asked, but responds with a "babe, seriously?  come back to bed."

i respond with a "yeah seriously... i'm not about to commit suicide in that death trap."

so i think everyone knows that there is a hierarchy in fart stench.

their are odorless, slight stench, stank, then farts that are so bad they smell like pure poop (and all the in between).

well this one was wayyyyy past the point of poop.   

it was like smelling a rotting carcass of a huge animal.

i dont wish this on even my worst enemies.

so i know i may have been a bit dramatic,

but the real question is...

did it really stink that bad?

and without a doubt my answer is yes.